Following the success of last year’s Tonsley Tornadoes tour to Staffordshire, I suspect few of those gathered in the car park of the Stone House Hotel for the official tour “start”, thought that lightning could strike twice.
The team-sheet resembled a list of the top ten most popular Catholic saints’ names with a collection of Simons (3), Andrews (4), Nick (2) and John (1) all hoping for divine inspiration, if not intervention! Rich “the cat” Wyatt made up the eleven.
With all present and correct, we quickly identified a suitable hostelry to host the “team-building” exercise and it was while sitting around a table, sipping my first beer of the day, contemplating the likely quality of the £3 lunch that I had ordered, that I heard the lyrics for Steelers Wheel’s “Stuck in the middle with you” playing on the pub’s Jukebox. It was to become a song that would sum up much of the weekend for me.
Yes I’m stuck in the middle of you,
And I’m wondering what it is I should do,
It’s so hard to keep this smile from my face,
Losing control, yeah, I’m all over the place,
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.
In contrast to each of our last two visits to God’s county, the weather was superb. The sun was out, the sky was blue and a light breeze was blowing. Staffordshire was a joy to behold.
Toss won, Leigh chose to make the Tonsley Tornadoes bat. It was a bold decision bearing in mind the ease in which we had achieved the target score last year and in an attempt to replicate this, N. Moxon Esq. and A. Meakin Esq. were again asked to open the batting. For a (brief) moment, it seemed that they had both picked up where they had left off.
Nick found the boundary on two occasions in the first over and after 5 overs the Tornadoes had moved steadily to a healthy 19 for none. Despite this, Meaksy had found the going harder than his partner and one moment of madness saw him clean bowled for 5.
S Protheroe Esq., a new recruit from Hornton (Oxfordshire), replaced Meaksy (5) but saw Nick Mox (15) bowled four balls later at the other end and S. Robinson Esq. (DUCK!!!), a colleague of S. Woolf Esq., soon return to his scorebook.
So began a partnership made in Hornton. The author and Proth (3) endeavoured to regain the initiative but Shelly Spooner quickly saw the latter off with her third wicket in six overs.
The Tornadoes were wobbling. The score had hardly moved and with four wickets down, what the team needed more than anything was solidity. With A. Moxon Esq. at the crease there was hope, but the author (2) was soon out playing a farcical shot to a straight one from Graham Burton and E. Irvin Esq. (1) failed to find his form of 2011.
Thankfully, R. Wyatt Esq. (17) and J. Tebbitts Esq. (12) brought an element of pride back to the team and with Andy Mox scoring freely at the other end, the team’s score slowly recovered.
A. Flood Esq. added 4 before Andy Mox (27) was finally bowled to bring an end to the whole sorry tale. We had amassed a grand total of 92 for 10 off (wait for it) 32 overs!
Leigh started their response steadily and Andy Mox and Robbo had to wait a full seven overs before their pressure began to produce results. Leigh skipper’s G. Burton Esq. (10) was the first to fall (caught Nick Mox off Andy Mox) before Robbo received his reward by bowling out J. Jeffrey Esq. for 3. JT then struck twice at the other end.
As the bowling changes came, so did the wickets with Meaksy bowling two out while Proth held down the other end. Even the author chipped in with what I will call a “wonder spell” claiming 2 for 3 off 3 overs!
The game was followed by the usual post match analysis at Leigh’s local pub. Andrew “recurring Man of the Match” Moxon won…: Man of the Match, while Edwin I’s first (of two) entries won the infamous ‘Prize of the Shiny Trombone’ Dick of the Day competition and, with it, the Shiny Trombone for the evening.
Inline with tradition, the evening was spent in Granvilles and featured a steady supply of beer, slippery nipples, Jaegar bombers and a curry.
As the night drew to a close in the hotel bar with a Scotch hand, the lyrics to Steeler’s Wheels’ greatest hit returned to mind.
SW
Well I don’t know how (sic) I came here tonight,
I’ve got a feeling that something ain’t right,
I’m so scared in case I fall off my chair,
And I’m wondering how I’ll get down the stairs,
Clowns to left of me
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle of you.
