Following the success (or relative success) of the 2007 cricket tour to Somerset, the Tornados embarked on a second tour to Staffordshire with an air of optimism that God’s own county might be able to provide a venue for the team to return to winning ways.
The Crown Hotel in Stone (The Canal Town) was designated as tour HQ and an advanced party of seven congregated in the hotel bar on Friday night. Refreshments were provided by the Bishop, whose fingers were devoured with more enthusiasm than… well suffice to say that two many beers were drunk for a team preparing for the long haul of a 40 over game the following day against an opposition as formidable as the mighty Leigh cricket club. With sustenance provided by the cheeky Chico staff, at least two of the party faced their first disappointment of the weekend when faced with a sticky mess nominally called Paella.
The tour party featured veterans of 2007 in the form of Andy “recurring Man of the Match” Moxon, Ed Irvin, Andrew Flood, Ant “Yapper” Dutton and Mark Turner, ex-Tornados such as Jerry Salsby, John “sorry I’m late” Southall, Paul Bruce and new boys Alex Reynolds, Rich “The Cat” Wyatt and Max Reeves. Oh, and me.
With Leigh batting first, the new ball was thrown to Mox inline with tradition. The old Tornados workhorse then delivered one of the balls of his Tonsley career and clean bowled R. Flowers Esq.
None for one and Tonsley were on top!
Seven runs later and Paul Bruce made it two from the other end, trapping N. Tebbitts Esq. leg before wicket. Crickey, Leigh were seven for two. The Tornados were flying!
Leigh fought back with S. Nash Esq. and A. Bell Esq. regaining control. The ball was passed to Mark who kept up the pressure, but at the other end Ant, John, Jerry and I took the opportunity afforded to us to remind the team why we might be best described as specialist fielders.
Alex took on the role of strike bowler when thrown the ball and bowled well with final figures of two for thirty-seven. Mark finished with a wicket (The cat taking a snick catch behind the wicket) while Mox benefitted from a Paul Bruce catch in the covers (I think).
Floody even bowled an over and in the process re-wrote 267 years of history. Battling his yips courageously, he was smacked for a six that cleared a nearby school building. By all accounts, this represents quite an achievement for Floody as it was the first time anyone had managed such a feat since the school was built in 1743.
Unusually, the fielding was pretty tight (at least at the start) with the only drops of note coming from Flood, Ed and (I reckon rather harshly) me. In addition, one managed to slip through my hands hitting “the holy trinity” as a result. Tears welled in everyone’s eyes. Mine weren’t from laughing.
Leigh finished their overs on 205 for 6, equivalent to an average run rate of 5.13 per over. Despite Jerry’s enthusiasm, it was always likely to be an uphill struggle.
John and Paul opened the batting brightly. However, conditions started to worsen and a light drizzle began falling. John was given out leg before wicket for 10 from Jerry’s umpiring (not a decision that was universally popular) and was subsequently replaced by Alex. A further 39 runs were added before Paul was caught out brilliantly. The drizzle turned to rain and the wickets began to fall. Alex (27) went with the score on 60 and within 35 runs, Ant (4), Jerry (5), Ed (Golden Duck), Rich (a tidy 12) and me (Golden Duck) had spent all too brief a time in the middle.
Mark (1) hung around for a while as Mox (an impressive 56) added a further 30 runs, but when he went only Floody (Golden Duck) was left – briefly.
The match was followed by a couple of beers in the The Star with the opposition. Mox was (or would have been if I had remembered) awarded the Man of the Match due to a reasonable bowling effort being followed by a superb batting display.
I managed to pick-up the “Dick of the Day” award of the Shiny Trombone by stalling the minibus on the level crossing on the way there. However, in my opinion, it should have gone to the person who panicked and in a falsetto voice pleaded for me to start the van again… (…continues)
A couple of pints in the Crown followed before we moved onto Granvilles. A highly entertaining night included Ant getting thoroughly carried away in his position of Weights & Measures. His fines started with pints, moved onto Tequilas and then ended up with Jaeger bombers. Ed bayed for more, Floody wobbled and Paul simply fell apart.
However, before complete meltdown, we were all treated to seeing Paul venture onto the stage to play the trombone with the band. Having provided the audience with a few “trumps” and joined in on a couple of choruses, his spell was broken by the bouncers and the band was one trombone player less by the end of the song. Shame.
There was a wholly different atmosphere at the Sunday morning rendezvous with hangovers rather than cricket dominating players’ minds. Spirits briefly rose as we managed to negotiate down the number of overs to play to just 30 aside, but the lethargy soon returned. With the Cat unavailable, Reevesy kindly stood in behind the wicket.
The Tornados batted first with Paul (15) and John (16) getting proceedings underway with six 4s pushing the score to 33 without loss. Unfortunately, both holed out in quick succession and the potentially match-winning partnership of Alex and Max entered the fray. Alex blasted 26 in short order before being caught, while Reevesy saw partners come and go as he accumulated a very orthodox 32. Frustratingly having smashed a huge 6 over Mid on, he fell for the sucker punch on the next ball and was bowled through the gate.
So followed a standard Tornados middle order collapse with Mox (3) leading the shambles. Floody (Duck), Jerry (Duck), Ed (Duck – but not golden this time!) and Mark made brief visits to the middle. Ant, on the other hand, was desperate to succeed (due to a brilliant piece of man-management from the skipper) and set about the opposition with gusto. Five 4s and a huge 6 followed as he accumulated an inning’s best 34 runs. At the other end, I (2) was happy just to sit back and enjoy watching the run machine that I had created!
For the first time in years, the Tornados had lasted their over allowance (a small achievement, but one to build on in future!)
Jerry thought we had a chance, but alas their opening batsmen had other ideas and J. Spray Esq. attacked our bowling from the off.
The Work horse kept lumbering in with enthusiasm at one end, while Mark tried his best at the other. Reevesy took a nick catch off Mox, but it wasn’t happening and despite some cracking fielding from John Southall (yes the John Southall from the radio, would you like his autograph?) Doveridge’s total kept rising and the Tornados’ shoulders began to drop. Saturday night was catching up.
Alex toiled manfully and was rewarded with a quite splendid catch from the skipper at Cover point, but again one or two catches failed to stick and by the end the field was so knackered that even a “catch it!” shout was deemed an unnecessary use of energy.
Man of the Match would have been Antony Dutton for a superb 34 – if I had remembered to award it.
The end of the game saw the team return to their homes in all four corners of this great land. Some had achieved their dreams, while some had had a super time in Granvilles trying. And while what goes on tour should stay on tour, it was lovely to see a courtship that we have all followed for years finally blossom. My congratulations to Ant and *%^&*$£ [does it matter who? Ed.] for finally sharing a double bed, you make a lovely couple.
That said, from a cricketing stand point it seems to suit Ant more than *%^&*$£!
SW
