Newbury 2011

AKA Floody's Stag.

The least said about this, the better, save that I do recall:

• Dressed in the required outfit, waiting an hour for Rob to pick me up. That apparently by design.
• A stringent list of requirements, save a forfeit (see list below).
• Ending up on the ceiling rather than under the table when, on the first night, being banned from alcohol, instead having to consume one fruit shoot per everybody else's pint. Never to drink another again.
• Walking back to hotel across a field wearing flippers and a snorkel and mask and, of course, the obligatory Prize of the Shiny Trombone.
• Being accidentally left behind at the hotel instead of taken to one of the events, for which the Best Men received justified forfeits.
• An archery event in which Tim seemed more hung-over than the stag, pathetically lying under a tree saying he was 'a bit peeky'.
• A trip between events where every car in our convoy sat on their horns to much mutual amusement, except from all other traffic.
• Lazer Quest apparently - though remember none of it.
• A box at Newbury Races, where the stag was challenged to unveil the (enormous) Tonsley Events banner on the fence at the start of the ninth race for the TV crews - crossing the race course in front of the crowd, the stag was of course conspicuous in his mandated eccentric outfit. But with help from Strenner and some cable ties, mission accomplished! (What, no photo?!?)
• Everyone deciding to bet the entirety of the Kitty on the penultimate race... and winning!
• Then Gus deciding to put all the winnings from that race on the final race... and winning again! Paid for the whole excursion.
• A night in a club in Newbury, the stag now dressed in a new outfit which, to the Best Men's frustration, gathered the stag lots of competitive tension with the gals of Newbury town.

Floody