Escape to Colditz 2005

During the Second World War there were over 300 escape attempts from Colditz, 120 breached the walls and 31 made home runs.

Over 60 years later fifteen brave, bold and foolhardy ‘chaps’ returned to carry out the ultimate surprise: breaking into Colditz.

Colditz Castle

The caper started with a briefing at the Special Forces club in Knightsbridge on Thursday night. Entry was by code only: “It is best served chilled in the castle”; “yes, the nights are drawing in aren’t they?” was the required response. Once all inside, we were given an introductory presentation on our mission, by the leading UK Colditz expert and our travelling guide David Dunn. Our taste buds were whetted and we were teased in anticipation by David’s favourite mantra “…but I’ll tell you more about that tomorrow”.

The following day, armed with false papers, passports and a plucky spirit, the ‘few’ all successfully breached Stansted and the shed at Altenburg airport without raising suspicion and were transported to their hide out. An afternoon trip to Podelwitz castle, which has many of the artefacts that were in Colditz, was a mere hors d’hoevre to the main event the next day: Colditz. “…but I’ll tell you more about that tomorrow…”

Tomorrow does arrive and so it did! Saturday was C-Day. A light sprinkling of snow and the scene was set – itz cold at cold itz! Our expert, who had by now revealed his true identity as the original ‘Muffin Man’ (see below) of Oflag IVC, led the way. Following Ness’s chilly induction into the Tonsley Totty hall of fame, we were ready for the assault. From the outer gatehouse to the German courtyard and finally to the prisoners’ courtyard, we were regaled with David’s encyclopaedic knowledge on the boy’s own escape stories of this Sonderlager.

We visited the theatre where Airey Neave began his escape from under the stage, culminating in the British first ‘home run’; we saw the ingenious French tunnel discovered after 8 months digging and which had the potential to eclipse ‘the great escape’; we visited the cells of the ‘prominente’ which housed Winston’s Churchill’s nephew and Earl Haig’s son and we were shown the precarious escape route of ‘Mr Colditz’ himself, Pat Reid. Not to mention the story of the glider and the 60 second escape – please see Jamie Bruce for further info!

At lunch, Floody won the individual escape equipment competition with his ingenious extending fork, fighting off competition from the other entries, which included a back scratcher(!), a tube of toothpaste, dog biscuits, some jelly and a pair of tights.

After lunch, to the exercise park, which saw many escape attempts including the leap-frogging Frenchman, the prisoner dressed as a woman, four Dutchmen and a well and the fatal escape attempt of Michael Sinclair, the Red fox, the most persistent escaper of the war.

The last night ended in style with a fine drinking card game compered by the Woolfmeister, combined with tomfoolery, gibberish and a wee bit of jiggery pokery to bring to a close a memorable weekend before our return to Blighty. All 15 making successful ‘home runs’.

Thanks to Joe for his great organisation again and to David for his expert knowledge and for introducing us to the Muffin Man game, a game involving balance, composure, a steady head and a glass of water!

Lest it be forgot: David Dunn’s a muffin man, a muffin man, a muffin man, David Dunn’s a muffin man who lives on Muffin Street. He can be contacted at his full address: The Old Muffin, Muffin Street, Mostly-under-muffins, Muffinshire, MUFF 1NN.

Herr Tebbitts

Day 1
Day 2

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