Tonsley – Celebrating 25 Years

[Verse 1]

Back when photographs came from a scanner,
And dial-up screamed us onto the line,
When Snake was as smart as a phone got,
We somehow thought we’d have a good time.

At Number Ten, the usual four,
Woolfy, Joe, Floody and Rob,
No masterplan, no grand ambition,
One great idea — we took it to the top.

It started at a school reunion,
At the pub without a name,
Even waitresses had a horn on,
And things were never quite the same.

“Rules are rules,” said Taily,
The Ashes passing through our hands,
Johnny Charco, Flash Frankie, Fat Sam,
And business meetings without plans.

[Chorus]

Twenty-five years and counting now,
Making something from nothing, and how!
From Tonsley Place to halfway round the world,
The globe keeps spinning round.

Twenty-five years of Tonsley,
Life goes fast, so raise your glass —
It’s always… best served chilled.

[Verse 2]

A hundred sausages in Munich,
“Jerry’s Jerry!” across the room,
Eddie flattened all the bicycles,
Like dominoes in the afternoon.

Crossed bridges and broke into Colditz,
Four men in a boat paddled the Thames,
With an angel and devil on board,
And another adventure with friends.

The Muffin Man balanced his drink,
“You can’t thumb your thumber!” rang out,
And Mr Freeze took things still higher,
With plenty more nonsense about.

Tornados conquered at cricket,
Played golf when the lakes were ice,
Found twenty-seven ridiculous sports,
With fathers at Rules to decide.

[Chorus]

Twenty-five years and counting now,
Making something from nothing, and how!
From Tonsley Place to halfway round the world,
The globe keeps spinning round.

Twenty-five years of Tonsley,
Life goes fast, so raise your glass —
It’s always… best served chilled.

[Verse 3]

Tonsley Totty round the planet,
T-shirts too small — that was the point!
Big Ladies towering at the parties,
Free those billies, keep it clean.

Who got jiggy in the ward room?
Nobody ever owned that night,
Where’s Wally lurking in the background?
Cross-legged Peter, what a sight!

[Breakdown]

“Not my bag!”
“Don’t do camping!”
“Sit on my…”
“Show me your papers!”
“I’m thirty-eight, you know!”

Nobody knows — just raise your glass!

[Chorus]

Twenty-five years and counting now,
Making something from nothing, and how!
From Tonsley Place to halfway round the world,
The globe keeps spinning round.

Twenty-five years of Tonsley,
Life goes fast, so raise your glass —
It’s always… best served chilled.

[Verse 4]

A shiny trombone for the winner,
Dick of the Day or Fanny du Jour,

[Prize of the Shiny Trombone Solo – Fuzzy Lip!]

One blast and everybody knew it,
Fuzzy lip and one round more.

Extreme ironing on the stag dos,
Gibberish talked on many occasions,
Pleasure Charles, not for profit,
Silly posh and strange creations.

Ring of Fire and Billy Bass,
“Alarm! Alarm!” the cry went round,
Nobody thought it was unusual,
Just more Tonsley sights and sounds.

Boaters on the river,
Floaters in the bath,
“Who did the shat?” somebody cried,
But nobody owned up to that!

[Chorus]

Twenty-five years and counting now,
Making something from nothing, and how!
From Tonsley Place to halfway round the world,
The globe keeps spinning round.

Twenty-five years of Tonsley,
Life goes fast, so raise your glass —
It’s always… best served chilled.

[Bridge]

And now the photographs look different,
The faces older, children grown,
The stories told around the kitchen table,
Have somehow found themselves a home.

[Build]

The years went quickly,
The jokes stayed stupid,
Silly caps and silly handshakes,
The friendships stayed the same.

It was always who was standing there,
And who was laughing all the while,
And every time we thought, “That’s probably it…”
Someone invented something else!

[Final Chorus]

Twenty-five years and counting now,
Making something from nothing, and how!
From Tonsley Place to halfway round the world,
The globe keeps spinning round.

Twenty-five years of Tonsley,
Life goes fast, so raise your glass —

For every trip and every tale,
Every triumph, every hill,
For everybody who was there,
And everyone who’s with us still.

Twenty-five years and counting now,
The same old nonsense, louder somehow,
From Tonsley Place to halfway round the world,
The globe keeps spinning round.

So raise your glass and sing it loud,
We’ve surely got some mileage still,
Twenty-five years of Tonsley —
Forever Best Served Chilled!

[Outro]

“Alpine soirée!”
“Gangster Chicago!”
“Day at the races!”
“Santa in the summer!”
“Messing about on the river!”
“Operation Anvil!”
“Murder at the Manor!”
“But don’t forget — you can’t thumb your thumber!”

Best Served Chilled.

www.tonsleyevents.co.uk — go on, get up there!