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Operation Yelsnot - The First Chapter

Introduction to Operation Yelsnot - The First Chapter

 

Operation Yelsnot Book of Weird Sporting Events

The "Yelsnot" ("Tonsley" backwards) Challenge was hatched in the usual manner of a conversation over too many beers at the East Hill pub in Tonsley Town. It was laid down by the four Tonsley Events crew and it was to run the course of a year from March to March in the year 2002/3. Rules of engagement were drawn up, proposed and approved by all. In a nut shell (though you can read the rules in full below), the individual had to attend the weirdest sporting event that they could find. The judging of this was to be done by each of the individual's fathers at the Tonsley Day of Reckoning and the prize was £100 from each of the three unsuccessful competitors.

27 events were witnessed, some of which were participated in and some of which were World Championships. It was a year of bizarreness, intrigue, secrecy and hefty mileages!

JOE: The World Championship of the "Gird 'n' Cleek"JOE: Hurlin' the Curlin' StaneJOE: Tossin' The SheafJOE: Snail RacingJOE: The World Championship of Flounder TrampingJOE: Cheese RollingJOE: The World Championship Woolsack RacesWOOLFY: The World Championship Woolsack RacesJOE: Boxing Day PullJOE: UK Tough Guy CompetitionJOE: Hare Pie Scrambling and Bottle KickingJOE: Recruiting for King GeorgeROB: Egg ThrowingJOE: The British Grand Prix - Lawn Mower RacingWOOLFY: Battle MarblesWOOLFY: The British & World Marbles ChampionshipJOE: The Sheep Grand NationalWOOLFY: The Annual Mountain Bike Bog Snorkelling RaceWOOLFY: The World Toe Wrestling ChampionshipWOOLFY: The Hebden Bridge Annual Duck RaceJOE: The Maldon Mud RaceROB: Race of the BoggmenROB: The Annual International Festival of Worm CharmingFLOODY: Tar Barrell RacingFLOODY: Underwater Hockey European ChampionshipsFLOODY: The Haxey Hood Game FLOODY: Sami Annual Reindeer Herding (Arctic, Sweden)

 
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Rules of Operation Yelsnot

 

Below lists the terms and conditions of the "Operation Yelsnot" competition devised by the Committee in the The East Hill Pub in Tonsley Town on Monday 17th December 2001. In summary, the competition winner will be the Committee member who attends the weirdest sporting event during the Operation's duration.

1. Entrants must be from the Tonsley Events Committee.

2. The entry fee to the competition is the princely sum of £100 sterling.

3. The competition shall run over the course of a year and shall terminate on Monday 10th March 2003, exactly a year after the Committee receives the "Tonsley Colours".

4. Any entries submitted after this termination date shall be disregarded.

5. All entries have to be submitted into the "Tonsley Book of Weird Sporting Events" within a month of the first day of the sporting event. Entries failing to comply with this rule will be disregarded.

6. When a participant puts his entry into the said book, he must have it witnessed by at least one other Committee member.

7. If all Committee members are "away on holiday", then his entry must be completed and be witnessed at the first opportunity on another Committee member's return.

8. Entries into the said book may not be altered in any way after their completion and a witness's signature.

9. A period known as the "Tonsley Sneaky Beaky Period" will commence from Saturday 1st February 2003 and last until the closing date of Monday 10th March 2003, where events visited during this time do not have to be entered into the book - see Rule 10.

10. Events visited during the "Tonsley Sneaky Beaky Period" will, however, need to be entered into the book in the normal way, in the week of Monday 3rd March to Sunday 9th March 2003.

11. In the unlikely case that an event is attended by more than one Committee member AND subsequently receives multiple entries to the "Tonsley Book of Weird Sporting Events" by parties concerned, all entries from that specific sporting event will be deemed invalid and void. The only exception to the rule is if the event is held outside the United Kingdom. In such cases, two Committee members can submit the event. However, the panel must then consider whether the joint entry is as strong as an alternative entry by a single member.

12. The winner shall be decided by the Panel of Judges, namely the fathers of those concerned, on the "Tonsley Day of Reckoning" over a dinner meeting after the closing date of Monday 10th March 2003.

13. The winner is the person that the Judges deem to have visited or taken part in the weirdest sporting event throughout the year, based on the Collin's Dictionary definition of "sporting" being "an activity for exercise, pleasure or competition".

14. It is to be left to the Judges discretion as to decide what is deemed "sporting" and what is not deemed "sporting".

15. The Judges should consider that geography plays no part in this competition - it is purely on the "weirdness" of the event that an event should be scored ie. an event in Honolulu holds exactly the same degree of ranking as that of the same event held in England.

16. The Judges should be aware that for the sake of this competition, it has been agreed that the term "sporting event", whilst being in line with Rule 13, must also fulfill the requirement of being of a scale that is open to competitors from a geographical area which is the equivalent of a parish or larger.

17. All entries, further to their entry in the "Tonsley Book of Weird Sporting Events", have to be supported by evidence of the entrant's presence at the event and any further evidence the entrant deems will help his case with the Panel.

18. The evidence mentioned in Rule 17, will include a photograph of the entrant at the event wearing his Tonsley Colours (not initially shown to the Panel of Judges), and a photograph of the event itself.

19. Each Committee member can choose no more than three events to put to the Panel of Judges.

20. The evidence mentioned in Rule 17, does not have to be submitted until the "Tonsley Day of Reckoning".

21. Judges shall be present in correct attire, including the famous Tonsley Judge's Wig.

22. The Judges decision is final.

23. The prize money shall be put towards the adrenaline pursuit of the winner's choice.