Klosters 2001

And so it was that with a heavy heart, a sunburnt nose and a nagging hangover, the Klosters five returned to work on the Monday. After eight days of taking all of the madcap mayhem that the Swiss Germans had to throw at us, we all returned to Blighty, real sausages and the Slug's John Smiths extra-smooth.

Klosters, what can you say? Picturesque? Picture Postcardly. Friendly? Jehovah's witnessly. Affluent? Prince Charlesly. Extensive skiing? Thigh killingly. Entertaining? Morgue-ishly! Delightful restaurants? Sparsely.

Yes it is fair to say that despite being more "loaded" than Ed Irvin's bedside magazine drawer or the (fast becoming infamous) backside of Anton Barlow, the town let it and worse still us down.

Yes it is a attractive town set at the foot of a staggeringly beautiful valley. Sure its air is full of the smell of the omnipresent pine trees, and true it's the play ground of the rich and famous... but hey we weren't on some sort of oil painting holiday. We were there to paint the town red, ruffle a few feathers and heaven forbid pull!!

For those who are thinking of joining Prince Charles on his next skiing holiday, I have one piece of advice... pack your playstation!

That said, the assembled party, skiing, snow and fun was first class and it is with not insignificant pride that Tonsley Events can announce that we have won the publishing rights for the official "Klosters uncovered!" memoirs. It is hoped that this will be serialised at some stage in the future when we have become massive media moguls, but for the time being we bring you the end of term report for the class of 2001!

Janette Saxer (Joint tour leader)
Impressed all with cunning linguistic skills speaking fluent Swiss German whether it was or was not required. Organised both the logistics of getting there and back and the accommodation for the week. Despite her Skiing improving each day,the enduring snowy moment was the shenanigans that she achieved using just a toboggan, a large quantity of snow and a merciless vendetta against her future brother in law. The first Tonsley Totty, she braved freezing conditions and a howling wind to grace Klosters with the Tonsley Totty T-shirt, proving again that Klosters would have been Best Served Thrilled!

Bridget Saxer (Joint tour leader)
The refined, cultured and stylish skier of the party. Won the award for style due to the fact that she out "Antoned" Anton with her ski suit shopping, wearing a rather fetching Orange number for the last couple of
days. Constantly endeavoured to find Klosters' nightlife, with regular sorties into pubs and bars being the recurring result.

Anton Barlow (UK co-ordinator)
The big man surprised all - well me at least - with his "first lift up and last lift down" approach. Completely failed to grasp that holidays are meant to be spent relaxing, but if it keeps him quiet then hey it works for me! Bravely managed to keep up with Ed's insatiable appetite for going out and getting drunk. A trooper! With his legs in some sort of "Bionic Brace", he pottered rather than raced down the slopes, but as he was simultaneously making a mental list of "things I would change with Klosters", who could blame him. Multi-tasking slows even the world's most powerful computers down after all!

Edward Irvin (Tour drinker/thinker/idle tinker)
As expected Ed excelled at everything he "majors" in and gave little thought to things he doesn't. As a result it will surprise noone to find out that it was Ed who was one of the first down to breakfast each day (Eating) first to be fully dressed and coiffured in the morning (vanity) first to every lift (impatience) the first to order the next drink
(alcoholism) and the first to start snoring (bone idleness for not being able to sleep on his side!!).

As the star of one of my favourite films used to say repeatedly... "Come on... Come on... Come on...". Different context sure, but the request for immediate action was the same! Either way it was a pleasure to spend a week skiing with Ed for the first time in seventeen years and fully appreciate his spontaneous nature again.

Simon Woolf (Tonsley Tourist)
Despite falling over more than everyone else put together, still put in a creditable performance. Returned a thoroughly exhausted but entertained tourist.

And so it is that I leave you with the photos. Next year it will be bigger and better. Next year it will not be in Klosters and next year I shall not fall over so much. Well achieving two out of three won't be bad!

Hover over the image to see its caption. Click on the image to see an enlargement.