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Caption Competition I

CLOSED:
WINNER:

1st March 2001
Robin Bowers

 

So having been put up in a swanky hotel and eaten nothing but caviar for weeks, the jury finally returned to give its verdict. And boy was it a controversial one.

To a hushed silence, the expectant crowd held its breath as the head judge rose to his feet and opened the spangly gold envelope. As a drop of perspiration formed on his brow, his eyes dropped to the card and he paused to clear his throat...

...for those who are interested, the last competition was won by Robin Bowers of Las Vegas US (previously of Staffordshire England) with his caption "Rob got the wrong end of the stick when Joe bet him he couldn't handle two fags at once". The lucky blighter was in England recently and returned home with the prize, a blooming nice camera, carefully stashed away in his luggage. We have archived the photo and other entries for the record:

Robbo receives his prize from Woolfy

 

Well, here it is: your chance to slag off Robert Bruce and win a swanky little camera in reward. How easy is that?!

Simply conjure up an appropriate caption for the photo below for your chance to get hold of this Canon IXUS X1 worth £130. A chic little number, this camera uses the latest Advanced Photo System films, has auto focus and a built in flash. You can even take it swimming - groovy babe!


Some of the best:

Rob's "fag up the bum" gag goes badly wrong.
(Floody)
Rob's only chance of a shag these days is to get his Siamese twin shit faced.
(Robbo)
Rob's Kenneth Williams impression lands him his first snog for 6 months.
(Robbo)
Get back in line sailor and stop standing to attention. No buggering between ranks man, you know Her Majesty's rules!
(Woolfy)
 
Formula One advertiser is caught in a loving embrace with his lover!
(Nutty Netty)
 
Rob's first mistake in Formula 1. He could have sworn they told him to take the chequered fag!
(Robbo again, I'm afraid)
 
Bruce, you're nicked for obtaining goods by deception for misappropriate use.
(Inspector Gotcha!)
GOVERNMENT WARNING: Cigarettes can seriously damage your partner.
(Chingu)
 
"Mon petit Jock" come ere and I'll give you a big kiss having buggered you senseless on the rugby pitch.
(JP)
 
"Pete, get off! All I want is to get my cigarette out of your arse!"
(Rob himself!)
 
Size matters.
(Liz)
 
...while his partner drew the card with a cigarette.
(Anon)
 
At that moment in walked Rob's father.
(Anon)
 
Oh god, I'm getting a stiffy.
(Anon)
 
Rob eventually persuaded his friend that if he clenched the cigarette-end tightly between his buttocks he could definitely inhale!
(Richie and Rachael)
 
The marines taught me this! It's the moisture that makes the fag burn slower - it doesn't taste too good though! (Rob himself!)
(Angus)
 
It all went pear shaped when Rob asked if he could bum a fag off the waiter.
(Robbo (in need of a camera, obviously))
 
After an initial struggle he managed to pull the cord causing his assailant to deflate.
(Simon Martin)
 
Mork has been showing Rob how they smoke on Ork.
(Philip Bickley)
 
WINNING CAPTION:
Rob got the wrong end of the stick when Joe bet him he couldn't handle two fags at once.
(Rob "please can I have the camera" Bowers)

COMPETITION CLOSED